The Roller Coaster

I've had an interesting week. On Tuesday, I saw the surgeon and got my surgery date set. On Wednesday, I went to my nutrition and pharmacy class and then had three pre-op tests; a chest x-ray, an abdominal ultrasound (to determine if my gallbladder gets to stay in it's present location or must be removed), and an EKG. On Thursday morning, my doctor called me and said, "There's something irregular on your chest x-ray. I want you to have a CT." I lay in my bed talking to her and trying not to panic. Jeff was there and I didn't want to, as we often say, "borrow trouble", so I tried to be calm and very casual about it. Inside myself, I was screaming, "What!!! I can't have cancer! I'm fine! I don't even smoke. How unfair is this!" On Thursday afternoon, I went back down to St. Joseph's Hospital for the third day in a row, picked up the reports form the bariatric clinic and promptly went to the medical library. My chest x-ray said, "There is a small spiculated mass in the left upper lobe and some hilar density." Spicular masses are bad. Again, I sat and tried to remain calm. Everything in me told me this was not right. I had the CT and then had to wait. Thursday night, I went to work and tried not to think about it too much. Friday morning, I heard from a nurse in my primary clinic with the report. The report said, "There is a 7mm calcified granuloma in the left upper lobe and some calcification of the hilar lymph nodes." I did some research. WHEW!! Calcified granulomas are benign. They are caused by scar tissue from a former infection that collects calcium. They take a long time to build up. On Monday, I got a call from my doctor confirming what I had learned and everything is still a go, but wow, did that ever throw a big "what if" into those few days. My gut feeling was correct. Thank You God, this could have been a devastating finding. All is well, but it did get me thinking about all the things that can happen in a life and how lucky I am and have been. All the twists and turns make for a great ride. I continue to look ahead and pray for good things. Anne