Quantum Physics Notes and the Meaning of Life

Last month, my sister and I went shopping together, just the two of us. This is rare. She has two daughters in their teens and I have a 12 year old daughter and an 8 year old son. We live 150 miles apart. Our lives are so busy, we rarely see each other, much less find time to get away alone, so this was a treat. We went to one of our favorite spots, a second hand store called Savers here in the Twin Cities. Both of us love bargain hunting and this place almost always holds a treasure or two. As we were cruising the aisles, we came across a bunch of binders. All of them were devoid of words except one, a blue one, with a title written on its spine that gave us a chuckle. It said, “Quantum Physics Notes.” We stood there in the aisle like a couple of goons, pointing and laughing. An ordinary looking binder containing notes on quantum physics seemed to strike our funny bones with an odd resonance. That simple blue binder couldn’t possible contain something so lofty, could it?
After our laugh, we moved on down the aisle and I forgot all about it, until today. Just going about my daily chores, that binder came back to mind. I thought to myself, “Why didn’t we pick that up and open it?” It would have been so easy. Who knows, that binder may have still had the notes in it? The secrets of life, or at least time travel, may have been revealed in that unassuming binder. We could be traveling all over the fourth dimension today!
The fact that we didn’t pick it up says a lot about people. Many times we look at the surface of something, get a laugh, a smile, even a tear out of it, but we don’t dig any further. We move on in our lives and forget all about it. It’s easy to understand why we might do this with a binder on a shelf full of binders, in a second hand store, but why is it so easy to do with the big things too: people, tidal waves, hurricanes and bridge collapses for instance. Do we move on because we have to, for our own mental health, or because we have very small time windows in our busy lives in which to remember? Is this self preservation or just a form of selfish isolation? How many of us can remember the date of Katrina? I do not mean to demean the contributions of the thousands of people who gave of their time and money to help in any of the disasters I mentioned, but how many of us have since moved on, giving little to no thought to these and many other events, people and places that shape our lives. Just a thought, next time you see something that is just slightly odd, funny, sad, or uneven, experience it. Then share it, because I believe that it is the sharing that keeps us remembering. Anne

Free Books

I watched one of my favorite movies tonight...again, "You've Got Mail" with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. It's at least the third remake of a movie done back in the 40's called "The Shop around the Corner". I have all three of them and I love them all. The latest one is about a small bookstore owner and her fight against a large chainstore and it's owner. The trouble is, she is in love with him. She falls in love with him before ever seeing his face, through the wonder of email. I love books and I love reading. I love it so much that I have my 10 digit library card number memorized. How many people can say that? I love to go to bookstores and look at books, then put them on hold at the library. Because, aside from reading, I love free. I think the US free library system is one of the greatest inventions ever. Thank you Andrew Carnegie. I also really like to support local businesses, even if they are slightly more expensive than the big guys. I have really come to appreciate customer service in my middle age. Don't get me wrong though, a really big book store with a cafe' in it is thrilling too. I think that as long as libraries and book stores are busy in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon, there is still hope for our society. Anne

I Love the Internet!

I am having so much fun with this blog! The frustrated secretary in me loves moving things about and finding new ideas to put in it. I haven't utilized 1/20th of the things I could, but that's ok, room to grow is exciting. I love the internet. I have a few friends who haven't succumbed to it yet and all I can say is, "You don't know what you're missing!" I know there is a lot of crappy stuff out there and the internet makes it easier to get to, but if you're the type who generally avoids the crappy stuff, you can do it here too. There is just so much available that is fun, enlightening, and enriching. I'm so glad that my husband works with and is so into computers. My life is being improved because of it. Of course, not everyone is lucky enough to have their own, personal, in-home IT guy. That must make accessibility more difficult. My father-in-law has proven that no one is too old to learn; he just started internet banking! I hope you like it Dad. Just like anything new, there is a learning curve, but it sure is fun when you crest the peak and can start the "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" of the downhill side. Anne

Back to Work

Well, I saw the orthopod today and he has given me the go ahead to go back to work on the 30th. I must admit, this news is met with a certain amount of ambivalence. While I have really enjoyed my time off and never having to worry about not getting to sleep every night, I have also missed the challenge of my job and the satisfaction I get from it. I do not, however, miss the rude people I occasionly have to rub elbows with. I mean coworkers and clients alike. Most people, I think, are basically good, but there are your given number of cranks in any area of life. I hope to approach the next few months with a sense of joy and a helpful attitude, as a three month break should tend to give me, but 20 years of career experience tells me that bad always comes with good. I'm sure this is not limited to only those in health care. A lot depends on my own attitude, so I'm praying for a lightness of feeling. If you have any extra prayers, say one for me. Anne

The House I Grew Up In

This is the house I grew up in. When I lived there, it was a dark chocolate brown color and I don't know if it had the eagle on it. It was a great place to live. It has an acre of land and lots of trees. I have been back in town a couple times since we left in the early 80's and the house has been this blue color for most of that time. For a while, there was a large fake orange butterfly on it between the two upstairs windows. I guess the eagle is an improvement. The people who live there now have had it the longest, having purchased it in 1986. It looks like they take good care of it and that makes me feel happy. It's nice to know that the place that made me so happy is happy too. Anne

What Can I Give My Children

Sometimes I see my children, and I feel a little sad,
to know the things so dear to me that they may never have:
To lay out in their own backyard and gaze up at the stars,
to see the yellow Venus, or the bright red-orange of Mars.
To wade for blocks in a crystal crick or reap lilacs that are free to pick,
in fields that lay unclaimed.
To recognize the folks in town, black or white, red or brown,
and often know their names.
To cherish movie theaters on a summer afternoon, the coolness there was rare,
to travel miles on your bike, or train most anywhere.
Games and shows that you invent,
then play out with your friends.
The hot sunshine of late July,
you thought would never end.
To feel the joy of doing nothing, your time not crammed with strife,
to simply learn to be, to know, to live your life.
To walk in woods, trespassers not, to see with more than eyes,
to spend an August evening catching flashing fireflies.
If I could give them some of this, then happy I would be,
for then I know my children could know more than "Mom",
and maybe understand...me.

I chose this for my first post because it sums up my childhood and the fear that seems pervasive in our society. The fear that keeps our kids from some of the experiences we had. I wrote this last year for the local library's poetry slam.