Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Things that Break

A few weeks ago, I was putting away clean dishes, including my small pyrex casserole dish. Ray and Linda gave us a set of several pyrex dishes when we got married 20 years ago. I loved them and I used them all the time. When I put the smaller dish into the larger, the larger one shattered like a car windshield that had been hit with a brick. It just fell apart into a million pieces on the shelf. It was startling, sudden and a bit sad. A few pieces spit out of the cabinet onto the floor, but most of them just flattened. There was no fixing it. The fixer in me was flummoxed. All I could do was reach into the dark cabinet with a small whisk broom and sweep the bits and pieces into a dust pan and throw it away, then go out and get a new one.
Just a couple of days later, I heard from my brother that he and his wife are getting a divorce. It is amicable and both are in agreement that they just don't love each other anymore. This shattering of a marriage is less sudden, but no less startling or sad. They will hopefully be happier as individuals, but certainly any divorce has ripple effects that no one can predict. There must always be some ambivalence at the breaking of a life lived together, even for a short time. Some things just cannot be put back together, no matter how hard you may want to try. Some things are not your business to even try to fix, no matter how much you may want to. With my brother and his wife, all I can do is pray and help with practical things when asked. The fixer in me is flummoxed again. I can't do it, no one can, and that is the saddest part of all.

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